The ultimate speedy dater

My younger brother recently escaped from a very long-term relationship. He’s dating again, and although I haven’t convinced him to pick up the sport of speed dating, he’s managed to hook a few from the weirdest depths of the dating pool all on his own.

LDB (Little Dating Brother, of course) began his search at a pretty conventional fishing hole–the college party. (Pause for a moment of nostalgia: how much cooler and more efficient was the keg line than speed dating? They might have been freaks, geeks or jerks, but at least you had verification of their age, neighborhood and approximate SAT score.) Anyway, LDB met a girl, got her number, and arranged to meet her.

When he arrived at the bar, he found that part of his job had already been done for him: the girl was kinda drunk. He helped her along with a few more drinks and before long, the following conversation took place.

“I have something to confess. I have a boyfriend,” she said.

He replied, “Oh, that’s totally fine. I don’t really do the whole monogamous thing. In fact, the other girl I’m seeing right now also has a boyfriend.” (I know, LDB’s dating style is a little unconventional, and probably merits a post of its own, but the point here is to make fun of other people.)

The girl seemed displeased and eventually explained that she is not polyamorous. (Don’t know that term? Look it up, but not on a work computer.) Rather, her boyfriend is 53 and she’d like to replace him with someone younger, but doesn’t want to make the leap until she’s sure his replacement is in place. This night at the bar was LDB’s single audition for the position of long-term boyfriend.

Obviously, I can’t support any girl rejecting the li’l bro, but I have to admire the way she’s expanded the speed dating model to cover the entire development of a relationship. Why waste months getting dressed up for dates, gradually getting to know someone, and waiting to see whether you’re ready for a mutual commitment? Just decide whether he gets a thumbs up or down, and then skip right to farting in bed and wearing raggedy sweats on Saturday night.


One thought on “The ultimate speedy dater

  1. Pingback: A table for two and… « Speed Dating Girl

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