What are you looking for?

I’ve made fun of speed daters, event organizers, my family members and even myself. But now, dear reader, it’s your turn to be the butt of the joke.

The WordPress blogging software helpfully provides a list of recent search terms that led people to your blog. And while many of them are pretty mundane, a few have piqued my interest. For example, I really wish that I could get the rest of the story behind “inappropriate texting with secretary” and “each wife swapped a room key.” Sounds like a wild and crazy blog post in the making.

I imagine a sadder story– specifically, a girl sitting home alone with only a computer to cuddle– in the search for “boyfriend on speeddate.” But I can’t even guess what could lead one odd Googler to ask, “when is a sidewalk fully dressed.”

I have no good answers to that question. After a snowfall maybe, or only when it’s smiling?

I am pleased to report, however, that I think Speed Dating Girl will offer useful knowledge to a few of you weird web searchers. Yes, you’ve got my sympathy, and a lot of additional evidence, person who searched “speed dating is bullshit.” And, while I’m clearly not what you’re looking for, I can only hope that some valuable insight was provided to the guy who was looking for “dating girl who know martial arts.”


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