There are many painfully awkward and scary moments in dating, but one of the worst might be the first post-date invitation inside. In movies, it looks so simple. “Hey, you want to come in for a drink?” But what if you don’t have a drink to offer? (One of my friends has an answer: “Carry a small bottle of bourbon with you at all times.” Of course, that might send some other messages, too.)
Anyway, I’m almost totally incapable of pulling this off, and my experiences and friends’ reports indicate that a lot of guys are, too. (It’s a wonder we’re not all hooking up on the sidewalk.) There was the guy I dated who ended so many dates with long makeout sessions in the car parked in front of his house that I finally went with the oh-so-subtle “You know, some people kiss inside buildings. That might be nice.” And it worked!
Less likely to work, but a popular choice nonetheless, is the “You should come inside and see…” I recently spent a first date hearing all about how the guy had just moved into his new apartment the day before. “Yeah, it’s just a bed and a whole bunch of boxes,” he said, describing the place. Flash-forward a half hour to when we left the restaurant. “Hey, so what are you doing now?” he said. “You should come up to my place and see the view.” I could just imagine what would come next. “Sorry about not having any chairs. Why don’t you just climb into bed?”
Some guys aren’t lucky enough to have a view to promote. A friend traveling in Southeast Asia met a guy who invited her up to his room to “enjoy the air conditioning.” Another met an artist in a bar who invited her over to “see his work.”
I’m betting you, loyal readers, have also heard your share of these ridiculous lines. Seems like it’s about time for another Speed Dating Girl contest. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to share the thinnest excuse a date’s ever given to get you inside. I’ll think up another fabulous mystery prize for the winner.