A little holiday shopping

You may have noticed that I take a quantity-will-bring-quality approach to dating. Recently, it went to an extreme. After my online profile attracted an unusual number of emails (guys desperately searching for someone to kiss under the mistletoe, I’m guessing), I found myself virtually dating four men at the same time. One lived in New York City, one was 10 years older than me, one couldn’t spell (I shouldn’t judge, but I can’t help it, I’m an editor!) and one was still technically married.

Despite that promising start, I found myself getting stood up twice in a single week. Guess the older guy was serious about how he’s only into cybering. (Research that vocab at your own risk.)

Naturally, I bitched about the situation to the next person I ran into in the office kitchen. Luckily it was a woman my age instead of the company CEO. So she told me about how she had successfully met her boyfriend online: “I searched Match for a guy who was an atheist, didn’t want kids, and mentioned Edgar Allen Poe in his profile. There were two. I’m with one of them.”

Her story blew my mind. Of course, it’s all about the search terms! I’ve been putting myself– and you, dear readers– through all this ridiculousness for nothing. When you want something these days and don’t know where to find it, what do you do? Duh, you ask Google. (Like the definition of cybering, for example. Sorry about the pictures, but I did warn you.)

So I gave it a shot. And I got this tragic response: “Your search – boyfriend for speeddatinggirl – did not match any documents.” Then Google had the nerve to suggest that I might have spelled my query wrong.

But all hope is not lost. At the top of that empty white page was an ad.

For Boyfriends

Find Everyday Low Prices at Yahoo!

shopping.yahoo.com
Advertisements

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