Delighted to dump

I have always assumed that the rest of the dating world shares my distaste for dumping people. (And that some folks have even more. My mom recently told me, “You are really good at rejecting guys you don’t like. I could never do that.” Still trying to figure out whether it was a compliment or an insult.)

So it’s a little mystifying that online daters have been contacting me just to let me know that we’re incompatible. One guy actually went with the subject line, “I don’t want to adventure with you.” (My profile says I’m looking for a guy who wants to join my adventure– cheesy, I know, but I have trouble selling myself without sounding like a travel brochure).  He went on to describe the flaws in the site’s matching software, as if he had me confused with either the customer service department or his robot servant. 

At least my other complainer’s issues were specifically directed at me, like my hypocrisy in loving my Subaru while claiming to care about the environment. Lucky I didn’t mention how I also like to eat and be skinny or vacation and have money.

But my friend beats that with her story of a guy from online whom she agreed to firstdate. (How many times will I have to use this word before Webster’s bites?) Then she changed her mind and cancelled the date. A few days later, he left her “a rambling/ranting voicemail about how I was ‘boring and bland’ and he never wanted to go out with me anyway.”

The best part? He called at 3 am! Could it be the start of a new trend, phoning people you don’t want to have sex with in the middle of the night? Just in case the dictionary writers are still reading, I’m proposing a name: let’s hear it for the “Giving the boot-y” call.

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