The eyes have it.

I always thought the key to my speed dating success (To all of you who just muttered in unison “What success?”: Shut up. I’m talking.) was my witty conversation skills. But now I’ve just learned, thanks to alert reader, that I’ve been going about this all wrong. According to the advertisement he passed along, the latest trend in speed dating is…silence.

Yes, that’s right, at this event in DC, “An even number of singles meet in an attractive space over drinks and world beats…each pair spends up to two minutes looking into each other’s eyes, no talking… switch every one to two minutes, for a total of around half an hour…. Two minutes of eye contact is the Cadillac of ice-breakers.”

I can see the advantages. Never hear another “Don’t say that.” Avoid those super awkward and super boring conversations (which, as you may recall, I found an excess of in our nation’s capital). But how exactly would assess your compatibility during a staring contest– by eye color? I can hardly imagine a more painful activity, except like…listening to world beats. Ok, maybe it does work. Because I’m pretty sure any guy I would date would rather take a bullet than sit through this event.

Yup, I’m going to stick with good old conversation, which I like to think of as the Chevy of ice-breakers. That analogy may be my favorite part of the whole thing. Obviously, a boob grab would be the Hummer, and a line like “Did you Windex your pants? Because I can see myself in them.” would be the Corvette. But what, for example, is the robot/monkey question? Different from the norm, but a tiny bit pretentious– perhaps the Prius of ice-breakers?

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