Texting kills…relationships.

I’ve known for a while that I’m too old and/or prudish to get the whole “sexting” thing. (If I want to look at a low-quality photo of a guy’s junk, I’ll use Google, thanks.) But I only recently discovered that sexting is so pervasive, it’s now expected before we’ve even met.

It started with my friend and a guy she met online. She had yet to schedule a date with this dude when one night, he texted that he was at a bar and she should be there. She naturally felt some confusion, which increased exponentially when his next text said that after drinks they should go sit on his couch for kisses and cuddles.

And then, as my friend reports, it only got weirder.

“I had no idea how to respond to that, so after a few hours, I just replied and said, ‘HA!’ and he replied and said ‘LOL.’ Then, the next morning, at 9:53 am, I got this text that said ‘Hmm. Doesn’t soundlikeypou’dmind.’ I replied about 10 hours later and basically said yes, I do mind, because he was a stranger from the internet.

So, he decided to try and smooth things over by saying he had a couple too many drinks the night before, he was a knucklehead, and felt bad. Then, a few minutes later when I didn’t reply he wrote again and said that the truth was that the text was not meant for me. ‘I was being flirty with someone I know. I meant to send it to them, but responded to you instead.’

However, there are several problems with this… I don’t even really know which text he didn’t mean to send me. I guess the first one saying I should be at the bar? But, that means he’s trying to claim that he sent several texts that were not meant for me. And, why the crazy, drunken-style text at 9:53 am?”

It was all pretty mysterious, but I was writing him off as one random nutso, until a similar thing happened to me. I had been texting with a guy I met online– me trying to set up a date, him engaging in the meaningless texting that single men seem inexplicably fond of these days (If someone could explain the appeal of texting things like “Wassup?” or “Wow, it’s raining really hard here” I would greatly appreciate it).

At the time of this incident, I was in bed, but I hadn’t told him that and there was nothing sexy about the situation (unless you’re turned on by a Clinton inauguration sweatshirt and sociology textbook). He was relaying boring details about his day (aren’t you supposed to save those for a relationship?) and I was responding with the texting equivalent of “uh huh,” when out of nowhere he texted, “We need to makeout.”

For a moment, I wondered if my friend and I could be dealing with the same dude. But since they have different area codes (seriously, that’s about all we knew about them) I have to conclude that there are multiple guys attempting to skip right to first base without all the hassle of meeting girls and talking to them.  Where’s an umpire when you need him?
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2 thoughts on “Texting kills…relationships.

  1. Hi, I have been following your blog for quite a while and seen allot of good post. But this one really does take the cake, how long did it take you to write this?

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