The good news is that four (FOUR!) different guys wanted to go out with Speed Dating Girl this weekend. The bad news is that she had decline all of them because she looked and felt like the “before” person in a NyQuil ad. But the silver lining is that this situation offers conclusive proof of the theory that the more effort you put into your appearance, the less likely you are to have a successful date. Think about that.
I did, and it led to some interesting questions. Namely, is leprosy still available in the US? And if I caught it, would George Clooney finally ask me out? And if the answer to both of those questions were yes, would it be worth it? Feel free to disagree, but I’m leaning yes. After all, is a small body part like an ear really so much to pay for a date with one of the world’s most eligible bachelors? (Extra bonus silver lining: I’d finally have a use for all those single earrings!)